Friday, April 16, 2010

Welcome To My House: A Disclaimer

If you have stumbled upon this blog in hopes of finding something political, social, or commentative on anything other than movies, books, music, and role-playing games, you should, immediately, without hesitation, stop what you're doing, stand up from your computer, and run away as if viewing this page has somehow fully engulfed you in fire.

If you have come to this blog "by accident," looking for casual reading material other than the occasional tale from the fringe, or stories containing content somehow normal, banal, or commonplace, you should, immediately, follow the same protocol and run away screaming, as if, in fact, this page has somehow fully engulfed you in fire.

Because honestly, those are the only things you are ever going to find on here.

Let us review.

The content you are going to find on this blog includes:

Movies.
Books.
Music.
Role-playing games.
And fiction.

And not necessarily in that order.

This page reserves the right to change that order at any given time, without notice or provocation, without concern for inconvenience or bodily injury. This page does not care. This page does not offer apologies, nor does it accept them. This page simply is what it is because it simply is what it is. This page is a blog.

Its ends ultimately justify its means.

However, if for whatever reason you were scouring the Internet hoping to find reviews on movies, books, music, and role-playing games, you now come to this page first. This page has trapped you. This page can and will serve all of your entertainment needs. And if for whatever reason this page does not currently have a review for a particular movie, book, album, or role-playing game, that you desire, you will wait for this page to have one.

Or this page will find you.

And, in the off-chance that you were searching the Internet looking for something worthwhile to read, having sifted through piles and piles of horrible, adolescent fan fiction and contemplated burning all of your Norton Anthologies out of sheer hopelessness, you will also come to this page first. Because this page's stories are better. They are worthwhile. And you will come to love them more than they love you.

Because this page knows where you live.

And is watching your every move.

It knows how you like your coffee, and it knows your favorite television shows. It knows what kind of car you drive, and how well you stock your pantry.

(Fun Fact: This page is already in your home.)

So why don't you just sit down, take off those dirty shoes and peel off those sweaty socks, rub those aching feet and stay a while?

2 comments:

  1. Hilarious, classic Riley. I'm going to enjoy reading this.

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  2. Great to see you in the blogosphere. I've got it bookmarked and will look forward to future postings.

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