For the longest time, Dungeons and Dragons Fourth Edition didn't really feel like D&D to me. Its mechanics were too different, its cosmology was too different, its classes and races were too different; the general feeling of the game was just not the same as earlier editions. It felt clunky and rough and purely combat driven, as if what had always made D&D fun, the story, had been forgotten somehow, left on the drawing board. In many ways, Third Edition, the first edition of D&D I ever learned, was my Windows XP, bug-filled but lovable, while Fourth was Windows Vista coming in to destroy its already delicate bits of code with its shiny new gimmicks.
You see, it's because people love the classics. It's why we re-watch our favorite movies, and it's why we re-read our favorite books. Even today, in our throwaway culture, we yearn for that nostalgia, that idea of holding onto experiences that we believe, by their very nature, are a cut above all others. And that's what Third Edition was for me. It was a classic, something that could not have been so easily replaced.
I remember cracking open the first round Fourth Edition supplements, the Player's Handbook, the Monster Manual, and the Dungeon Master's Guide:
Where did my alignment go?
I thought humans sucked?
You can play dragons now?
I have damage resistance(s)?
Where did my skills go?
What the hell is an Action Point?
We don't measure in feet?
I can attack with Charisma?
Wands don't have charges?
I can't perform anymore?
What did they do to my game?
It all felt so alien, so surreal. I really didn't know what to think about it, to be honest, other than questions and complaints and a couple (million) curses. I was so disappointed with how they had altered the game, with how drastically different everything was, how quickly, it seemed, that everything had been thrown together.
But I decided to wait. Perhaps, I thought, these new mechanics are still coming to their point. Perhaps this is not yet the final incarnation of this edition. Perhaps they will fix the combat length problems, the over-powered problems, the rule ambiguity problems, the problems concerning the development of character and monster backstory and the "just winging it" mentality structuring everything else.
I'm so glad I did.
Because Wizards of the Coast, you have done it. I applaud thee. You have succeeded with the Monster Manual 3 where the two previous Monster Manuals have failed. You have delivered unto me, one of your most loyal servants, a masterstroke of role-playing game engineering. I officially recant every awful thing thing I may have said about your new edition, for the latest Monster Manual addresses every concern I once had.
The heavily reorganized stat blocks alone were enough to revitalize my trust in the game's designers, as labeling abilities according to action type and monster trait instead of by power title and attack type made my DMing life instantly easier, allowing me to structure a creature's turn based on what kind of actions it had left and not spend so much time scouring it's abilities for specific details like when a particular effect ends or what kind of prerequisites it's supposed to have. The new structure is definitely a great leap in user-friendliness, and I'm sure that other DMs will feel the same way.
The amount of space allotted for a creature's lore was also significantly increased, something that was not only underdeveloped in previous manuals, but also something that I greatly missed. Now, instead of a paragraph or so introducing each monster, each creature is given several paragraphs, maybe more, sometimes even a side-bar, detailing its place in the Dungeons and Dragons world. This could not be more appreciated, I have to say, as there is nothing like a heavily fleshed out monster that any DM, regardless of experience, can place into a campaign without the once commonplace fuss of having to flesh it out from scratch. I know from experience that creating monster lore only for the sake of giving curious PCs something to learn can be incredibly time-consuming, and even frustrating, as new players often have the problem of bothering to ask about a creature's origin in the first place. It seems that Wizards finally woke up from its slumber and remembered that a creature's story always takes precedence over its statistics.
As for the actual creatures, the Monster Manual 3 has by far the greatest collection of epic baddies out of any other Fourth Edition manual so far. And not to completely digress from the theme of this post, I'll tell you why:
And let me tell you, the Monster Manual 3 takes Dungeons and Dragons back to its roots. Single-handedly. With a spiked, flaming gauntlet around its neck. Because finally, finally, a monster manual included the classic elementals of water, earth, fire, and air. I swear, it always bugged the hell out of me how they never included those in the first two. They always had these weird elementals with all the proverbial bells and whistles, like the Thunderblast Cyclone and the Rockfire Dreadnaught, or the Chillfire Destroyer and the Rockfist Smasher. I could never understand it. It was just another example of the Windows Vista mentality taking over my game. But, my fellow players and DMs, fear no longer, for your time has finally come. Once again you can set out from your local drinking establishment with your magic sword, and go slay a column of living fucking fire, no other elements included.
Some other all-time favorite classics include the Rot Grub, a morbid larva that burrows under your skin to devour your internal organs, the Mimic, a strange creature that has a penchant for taking on the forms of treasure chests, the Cloaker, a string ray resembling monster that can hide in plain sight as a cape, and of course, quite possibly the most hideous of the newly updated monsters from earlier editions, the fearsome Catoblepas.
Now, for the uninitiated, the Catoblepas is by far one of the strangest and most bizarre D&D monsters out there. Taking it's form from some kind of weird, emaciated half-bison attached to the neck of some kind of ghoulish, horned and razor-toothed half-giraffe, the Catoblepas has the ability, I shit you not, to scare the living fuck out of every kind of powerful character that has ever been or that shall ever be. Stalking the planes of reality for no other purpose than to leave death and decay in its wake, the Catoblepas is unrivaled in its ability to thoroughly ruin an adventurer's day with its Withering Gaze, Final Glance, and of course, its Poison Breath. And for that, Wizards, I am grateful. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to enjoy one of my favorite First Edition creatures once again.
That having been said, we cannot let ourselves forget the other creatures in the book, especially the epic threats that are so often featured in the Monster Manual series. In the first Monster Manual, the world of Fourth Edition was introduced to Orcus, Demon Prince of Undeath, essentially the game's first campaign-ending solo creature. In the Monster Manual 2, the world was introduced to Demogorgon, the Prince of Demons, and his dual personas of Aameul and Hethradiah, along with Dagon, the Demon Prince of the Deep. In the third Monster Manual however, the world is introduced to three epic threats instead of just one or two. Within its pages, we find Imix, the Prince of Elemental Fire; Ogremoch, the Prince of Elemental Earth; and last, but definitely not least, Lolth, the Queen of the Demonweb Pits.
With that much epic (don't you dare forget how I define that word) crammed into the Monster Manuals already, I cannot even imagine what kind of powerful creatures will be lurking in the Monster Manual 4, which I'm certain Wizards is already working on as we speak. There's plenty of cosmology to draw from, certainly, but when you have lore for entities like Imix, the Prince of Elemental Fire, that reads:
"In raging wildfires that spread across the wilderness and brutal murders enacted in the heat of passion, one can find the Fire Lord's touch."
And,
"The Fire Lord's followers hear their master's whispers in the crackle of flames, in the ragged exhalations of burned victims, and in the crunch of char beneath their feet."
How in the hell are you supposed to top that?
I mean, I can't even think of another character that even comes close to topping that. Sure, they could probably include the other counterparts to Imix and Ogremoch, like the so far unnamed Princes of Elemental Air and Water, but I think many people would see that as kind of a cop-out. It would complete the set, certainly, but why include something so predictable? If it were up to me, I would prefer to see more of the Demon Princes, especially the likes of Juiblex, the Faceless Lord. He's the Demon Prince of oozes, I believe, and has always been one of those obscure D&D powerhouses that has often left me with curiosity. Perhaps Wizards could illuminate me next time around? I hope so. Oozes have always been one of my favorite creatures to not only fight, but also to play as the DM.
Of course, they could finally reveal Him.
And by Him, I'm referring to The Chained God, Tharizdun, The Destroyer of All Creation.
(Yeah, he's one tough mother fucker.)
Remember the Catoblepas? Fuck it. Fuck it and leave it the next morning before it wakes up. Fuck it and never call it again. Fuck it and then date its best friend. You see, with Tharizdun, there are no compromises. There are no prisoners. There are no negotiations and there are no reconciliations. There is only destruction, the endless, wanton destruction of all things within the universe. To quote The Destroyer's unholy dogma:
"The very threads of existence must be torn asunder, then burned, then the ashes scattered, until all is nothing and no one exists to remember existence."
So yeah, the Catoblepas? FUCK IT.
Anyway, it's highly doubtful that Wizards is quite ready to unveil its trump card, its ace in the hole, just yet. I mean, players aren't even supposed to know of his existence, really, and in fact his mentioning was left out of all the player's materials entirely for just such a purpose. Like all things Lovecraftian in their nature though, I have always been fascinated with the history of Tharizdun and his influence on the Dungeons and Dragons universe, so of course I would really like to see his stat block, not necessarily for the sake of having him face my PCs (the guy has to be level 40, he just has to be), but just for the sake of my own personal enjoyment.
All that having been said, I think it's about time I draw this review of the third Monster Manual to a close. I kind of went off topic a bit, but this has nothing to do with academia so I can't really say that I give a damn. Overall, I highly recommend the Monster Manual 3, not only for its more than satisfying look at classic D&D monsters, but also for the amount of time and effort put into their development and ecological history. The new stat blocks, too, I swear they have to be one of the greatest advents to Fourth Edition user-friendliness thus far, so much so that now whenever I create my own monsters, I will surely use this bold new format to structure them.
All in all, I would have to give the Monster Manual 3 9.5 Natural 20s out of 10. All of its content was extraordinary, I have to say, but for some reason it had a number of typographical errors, which I fear is becoming all too commonplace in Fourth Edition manuals.
I mean come on, Wizards. You're so much better than simple mistakes.
Now, for the uninitiated, the Catoblepas is by far one of the strangest and most bizarre D&D monsters out there. Taking it's form from some kind of weird, emaciated half-bison attached to the neck of some kind of ghoulish, horned and razor-toothed half-giraffe, the Catoblepas has the ability, I shit you not, to scare the living fuck out of every kind of powerful character that has ever been or that shall ever be. Stalking the planes of reality for no other purpose than to leave death and decay in its wake, the Catoblepas is unrivaled in its ability to thoroughly ruin an adventurer's day with its Withering Gaze, Final Glance, and of course, its Poison Breath. And for that, Wizards, I am grateful. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to enjoy one of my favorite First Edition creatures once again.
That having been said, we cannot let ourselves forget the other creatures in the book, especially the epic threats that are so often featured in the Monster Manual series. In the first Monster Manual, the world of Fourth Edition was introduced to Orcus, Demon Prince of Undeath, essentially the game's first campaign-ending solo creature. In the Monster Manual 2, the world was introduced to Demogorgon, the Prince of Demons, and his dual personas of Aameul and Hethradiah, along with Dagon, the Demon Prince of the Deep. In the third Monster Manual however, the world is introduced to three epic threats instead of just one or two. Within its pages, we find Imix, the Prince of Elemental Fire; Ogremoch, the Prince of Elemental Earth; and last, but definitely not least, Lolth, the Queen of the Demonweb Pits.
With that much epic (don't you dare forget how I define that word) crammed into the Monster Manuals already, I cannot even imagine what kind of powerful creatures will be lurking in the Monster Manual 4, which I'm certain Wizards is already working on as we speak. There's plenty of cosmology to draw from, certainly, but when you have lore for entities like Imix, the Prince of Elemental Fire, that reads:
"In raging wildfires that spread across the wilderness and brutal murders enacted in the heat of passion, one can find the Fire Lord's touch."
And,
"The Fire Lord's followers hear their master's whispers in the crackle of flames, in the ragged exhalations of burned victims, and in the crunch of char beneath their feet."
How in the hell are you supposed to top that?
I mean, I can't even think of another character that even comes close to topping that. Sure, they could probably include the other counterparts to Imix and Ogremoch, like the so far unnamed Princes of Elemental Air and Water, but I think many people would see that as kind of a cop-out. It would complete the set, certainly, but why include something so predictable? If it were up to me, I would prefer to see more of the Demon Princes, especially the likes of Juiblex, the Faceless Lord. He's the Demon Prince of oozes, I believe, and has always been one of those obscure D&D powerhouses that has often left me with curiosity. Perhaps Wizards could illuminate me next time around? I hope so. Oozes have always been one of my favorite creatures to not only fight, but also to play as the DM.
Of course, they could finally reveal Him.
And by Him, I'm referring to The Chained God, Tharizdun, The Destroyer of All Creation.
(Yeah, he's one tough mother fucker.)
Remember the Catoblepas? Fuck it. Fuck it and leave it the next morning before it wakes up. Fuck it and never call it again. Fuck it and then date its best friend. You see, with Tharizdun, there are no compromises. There are no prisoners. There are no negotiations and there are no reconciliations. There is only destruction, the endless, wanton destruction of all things within the universe. To quote The Destroyer's unholy dogma:
"The very threads of existence must be torn asunder, then burned, then the ashes scattered, until all is nothing and no one exists to remember existence."
So yeah, the Catoblepas? FUCK IT.
Anyway, it's highly doubtful that Wizards is quite ready to unveil its trump card, its ace in the hole, just yet. I mean, players aren't even supposed to know of his existence, really, and in fact his mentioning was left out of all the player's materials entirely for just such a purpose. Like all things Lovecraftian in their nature though, I have always been fascinated with the history of Tharizdun and his influence on the Dungeons and Dragons universe, so of course I would really like to see his stat block, not necessarily for the sake of having him face my PCs (the guy has to be level 40, he just has to be), but just for the sake of my own personal enjoyment.
All that having been said, I think it's about time I draw this review of the third Monster Manual to a close. I kind of went off topic a bit, but this has nothing to do with academia so I can't really say that I give a damn. Overall, I highly recommend the Monster Manual 3, not only for its more than satisfying look at classic D&D monsters, but also for the amount of time and effort put into their development and ecological history. The new stat blocks, too, I swear they have to be one of the greatest advents to Fourth Edition user-friendliness thus far, so much so that now whenever I create my own monsters, I will surely use this bold new format to structure them.
All in all, I would have to give the Monster Manual 3 9.5 Natural 20s out of 10. All of its content was extraordinary, I have to say, but for some reason it had a number of typographical errors, which I fear is becoming all too commonplace in Fourth Edition manuals.
I mean come on, Wizards. You're so much better than simple mistakes.
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